feelingpussy:

jamaicanblackcastoroil:

cocoacallalily:

This would’ve went on all day.. lol

She had me thinkin maybe it is 1235

i believe her

miranda-mundt-art:

miranda-mundt-art:

I can’t DO April Fool’s, cuz my ass will just sincerely take you at face value 99% of the time because who am I to say you’re making that up or not?? I don’t know your life. 

I was at a restaurant once and asked for a Nutella milkshake and hes like “oh we’re out of that” and I, being someone who doesn’t want to make their lives difficult was like “oh okay, chocolate milkshake” and he said they were out of that, so when i was like “Alright… water is fine then” he said they were out of water and it was only then that I began to process that he was PROBABLY fucking with me. 

No one can joke with me - at any time of the year - in public because I’ll just stare blankly as I am attempting to process and figure out the best way to respond but it will be JUST long enough to make YOU uncomfortable and think I’m an idiot. 

sweatersnervously:

stranger: (crouches down to pat my clown) wow what breed are they?

me: 1930s traveling hobo crossed with a 1980s washed up carnie - we think there might be some french mime in there on the hobo side

clown: (honks a B-flat)

beepilot:

remember when hey soul sister was on the radio and life didn’t suck ass

memewhore:

chazkuangshi:

My brother got me stardew valley for the switch

oh man time to name my new fa-

………..

ekjohnston:

sirfrogsworth:

This might require an encyclopedic knowledge of Avatar characters to understand, but it’s pretty hilarious if you fall into that category. 

OKAY BUT ALSO THIS IS ONE OF THE SCARIEST CHARACTERS ON TV

thebootydiaries:

Jo Ann went OFF!!!!!

itsfunnytomemke:

chunkyheels:

I am YELLING

susiethemoderator:

in true sibling manner lol

domine-dirige-nos:

how did these people manage to take over the world

soldmysoultocinema:

proposals on ballots be like

do you not want to not pay no taxes nor pay taxes not

⚪️yes

⚪️no